the gate of heaven is everywhere

The gate of heaven is everywhere...
 including at the heart of our being

At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us… It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely…I have no program for this seeing.  It is only given.  But the gate of heaven is everywhere.   
                                                            Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

 

Abbot Lot came to Abbot Joseph and said: 'Father, according as I am able, I keep my little rule, and my little fast, my prayer, meditation and contemplative silence; and according as I am able I strive to cleanse my heart of thoughts: now what more should I do?' The elder rose up in reply and stretched out his hands to heaven, and his fingers became like ten lamps of fire. He said: 'Why not be totally changed into fire?'

                                                             From the Sayings of the Desert Mothers and Fathers

A friend once questioned a reference I made to "the heart of being," and my description of it as that place where God dwells in each person. She asked, "Where do you think that place is within us? Can you point to or imagine an actual physical location?" It was an interesting question and I realized that when I have spoken of this "heart of Being" I typically point to the left-center of the chest, that place where the human heart muscle beats away and pumps life-giving blood. 

The human heart has long been a symbol for the indwelling presence of God. The metaphor speaks on many levels of vitality, love, the flow of life within our flesh, and the flow of life-energy joining all beings. In the Hebrew scriptures there are many references to the heart. One of my favorites comes from the prophet Ezekiel who uses what seems to have been a common Hebrew notion of hearts growing "hardened," calloused by pride, self-seeking, and fear. Ezekiel speaks of the power of God to not only soften hardened hearts but, when needed, to grant us a new heart:

I will sprinkle clean water upon you, 

and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, 

and from your idols I will cleanse you. 

A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; 

and I will remove from your body the heart of stone 

and give you a heart of flesh. 

I will put my spirit within you...          Ezekiel 36 25-26

A spiritual "heart transplant," I suppose one could say. And who hasn't felt a need for that from time to time? I especially notice here that what is given is a "heart of flesh."  It speaks of a heart that feels, a heart that loves, a heart that expresses mercy and compassion, a heart that is vulnerable and open to love in this life and in this world. A heart that is willing to hurt and ache with love.

Another level on which the metaphor of the heart speaks is the fact that our heart beats without our own conscious effort. It simply happens, without our direction, unless otherwise impacted by injury or illness. It is a meaningful analogy for the movement of God's own Spirit at the center of our lives, flowing and bestowing gifts without our own conscious awareness, and well beyond our efforts to control it.

For our part, to practice bringing our awareness to God's presence at the heart of our being can profoundly transform the way in which we live our daily lives. To practice attentiveness to  that "point of nothingness" at the center of our being can deepen our capacity to live from this center, and to live from this heart of love. It is what can tip the scales of our lives toward compassion, wisdom, generosity and mercy. It is what I imagine Abba Lot means in the story above when he asks: "Why not be totally changed to fire?"

The ancient Gnostic worldview held that this inner spark or light of God demands release from the fallen, sinful, fleshy realities that come from being human. They taught that  this indwelling presence of the Spirit at the heart of our being is held captive by our physical being, and believed that there was special spiritual knowledge and practice that would bring about its rescue and release.

Jesus revealed a Way that was entirely different. He did not teach a separation between the spirit and flesh, or between the divine and the human. He taught and embodied the union of these realities. 

Jesus did not disparage embodiment. Instead, he showed what it looks like to live each moment from the heart of the God-presence within us, uniting our divine and human natures. He showed through his own acts of self-offering love what it means to see this same heart in others as we live. He excluded no one from this vision and understanding; he taught that such a life is possible for all. He proclaimed a "kindom" of God already present within us and among us, and the will of God "done on earth as it is in heaven."

Jesus made abundantly clear that it is possible for each person to live from this place, to live with such great love, just as he did. This is not something we have to achieve, or earn, or some secret knowledge we must learn. It is a gift already given. Our capacity for such fullness of life is already promised. We must simply be attentive and open enough to receive it and allow it to pass through us.

As Christians, we can and should go so far as to say that when we speak of "Christ" we speak not only of one historical moment and person--the full union of divine and human realities in the person of Jesus of Nazareth--but we speak of all those lives and historical moments through which this union is revealed. When we come to deeper awareness of what lies at the heart of our being--our "original blessing"--and receive the gifts God has already given us, we become one with Christ. Put even more directly, we become Christ present here and now. We may also then come to see, as Merton describes so beautifully above, that "the gate of Heaven is everywhere," including deep at the center of our lives.

becoming what we believe

window in the Church of St. Martin in the Fields (London)  by Yolanda Kauffman

Matthew 9:27-34

The Message (MSG)

^27-28 As Jesus left the house, he was followed by two blind men crying out, “Mercy, Son of David! Mercy on us!” When Jesus got home, the blind men went in with him. Jesus said to them, “Do you really believe I can do this?” They said, “Why, yes, Master!”

^29-31 He touched their eyes and said, “Become what you believe.” It happened. They saw. Then Jesus became very stern. “Don’t let a soul know how this happened.” But they were hardly out the door before they started blabbing it to everyone they met.

Become what you believe.  

What we believe holds great power, and exerts influence over the trajectory of our lives. If I believe I have worth only inasmuch as I wield authority and influence over others, I will very likely do whatever I can to gain power and control in my relationships. 

If I hold a fundamental belief that human beings are innately bad and broken at the heart of our being, I will be inclined to see my own faults and the faults and failings of others (usually those of others first!), and may have a difficult time trusting people's motivations and intentions. 

If I experience a great disappointment or setback in my life, the path leading on from that moment has much to do with what I believe about it. If I believe the setback is an unwanted intrusion and interruption in an otherwise desireable course of events, I will probably meet it with resistance and defensiveness. I will not allow myself to fully encounter and experience it. Very likely, I will look for someone or something to blame in order to explain why this has happened to me, and I may move into the future with a more guarded and wary spirit.

However, if I choose to accept a disappointment as an inevitable part of living, and even an opportunity for learning and growth, I will be better able to experience that moment fully and openly. Rather than getting wrapped up in patterns of blame, shame, and guilt, or trying to exert control over circumstances that are naturally beyond my control, I can choose to live from that moment in a more yielded, flexible and creative way. 

There is a powerful alchemy to belief, and Jesus understood this well. Perhaps that is why he asked people questions like: 

Do you believe that I am able to do this? (Matt. 9:28)

or

Do you want to be made well? (John 5:6)

And perhaps it is why Jesus often sent people off with the blessing, "Go, your faith has made you well."

I struggle sometimes with this word "belief." So often when we use it in religious circles we usually mean agreeing to certain doctrines and dogmas that have been established. "I believe in the virgin birth." "I believe in the resurrection." Either that or we cheapen its meaning by implying that it should somehow just magically be there if we say so. "You just need to believe!" 

When Jesus spoke of belief I sense he was pointing to something much deeper in our being, something more than giving rational assent to an idea, something more than the power of positive thinking, and certainly something other than thoughtless consent. Jesus was speaking of an orientation of one's whole self--mind, heart, body and soul. Belief, as he spoke of it, suggested trust and a certain amount of vulnerability before life. It implied an openness to accept and share love. It also has to do with a willingness to change.

As the gospel stories reveal, it is often the people who have suffered most deeply and feel most lost who come to understand this orientation of belief, and who discover what becomes of it. These are the ones who know, through their own experience, what it means to be vulnerable enough and open enough to know their own need for healing and transformation, and their own desire for love.

The two men who follow Jesus on the road to his home do not know what will become of this moment, but they believe that this is the man they must follow, this is what they must do in order to find hope once again. They have reached a point of total openness and vulnerability. And when they finally catch up with Jesus, they simply cry out for mercy. Love is able to do something healing with such openness.

Jesus also knew that so many people grow calloused and cynical as we live. We toss shrouds over the light of faith and love that can well up from our hearts and in the world around us. We have our well-guarded answers for "the way things are" and they often prevent us from seeing the possibilities of what could become of us, our neighbor, and our world. 

Perhaps this is why Jesus asks the two men to keep their experience to themselves for the time being. Others will not understand; they will either call it a hoax or some rare, super-natural miracle. Either way, they will continue to miss the transforming power that might well up in their own being.