becoming what we believe

window in the Church of St. Martin in the Fields (London)  by Yolanda Kauffman

Matthew 9:27-34

The Message (MSG)

^27-28 As Jesus left the house, he was followed by two blind men crying out, “Mercy, Son of David! Mercy on us!” When Jesus got home, the blind men went in with him. Jesus said to them, “Do you really believe I can do this?” They said, “Why, yes, Master!”

^29-31 He touched their eyes and said, “Become what you believe.” It happened. They saw. Then Jesus became very stern. “Don’t let a soul know how this happened.” But they were hardly out the door before they started blabbing it to everyone they met.

Become what you believe.  

What we believe holds great power, and exerts influence over the trajectory of our lives. If I believe I have worth only inasmuch as I wield authority and influence over others, I will very likely do whatever I can to gain power and control in my relationships. 

If I hold a fundamental belief that human beings are innately bad and broken at the heart of our being, I will be inclined to see my own faults and the faults and failings of others (usually those of others first!), and may have a difficult time trusting people's motivations and intentions. 

If I experience a great disappointment or setback in my life, the path leading on from that moment has much to do with what I believe about it. If I believe the setback is an unwanted intrusion and interruption in an otherwise desireable course of events, I will probably meet it with resistance and defensiveness. I will not allow myself to fully encounter and experience it. Very likely, I will look for someone or something to blame in order to explain why this has happened to me, and I may move into the future with a more guarded and wary spirit.

However, if I choose to accept a disappointment as an inevitable part of living, and even an opportunity for learning and growth, I will be better able to experience that moment fully and openly. Rather than getting wrapped up in patterns of blame, shame, and guilt, or trying to exert control over circumstances that are naturally beyond my control, I can choose to live from that moment in a more yielded, flexible and creative way. 

There is a powerful alchemy to belief, and Jesus understood this well. Perhaps that is why he asked people questions like: 

Do you believe that I am able to do this? (Matt. 9:28)

or

Do you want to be made well? (John 5:6)

And perhaps it is why Jesus often sent people off with the blessing, "Go, your faith has made you well."

I struggle sometimes with this word "belief." So often when we use it in religious circles we usually mean agreeing to certain doctrines and dogmas that have been established. "I believe in the virgin birth." "I believe in the resurrection." Either that or we cheapen its meaning by implying that it should somehow just magically be there if we say so. "You just need to believe!" 

When Jesus spoke of belief I sense he was pointing to something much deeper in our being, something more than giving rational assent to an idea, something more than the power of positive thinking, and certainly something other than thoughtless consent. Jesus was speaking of an orientation of one's whole self--mind, heart, body and soul. Belief, as he spoke of it, suggested trust and a certain amount of vulnerability before life. It implied an openness to accept and share love. It also has to do with a willingness to change.

As the gospel stories reveal, it is often the people who have suffered most deeply and feel most lost who come to understand this orientation of belief, and who discover what becomes of it. These are the ones who know, through their own experience, what it means to be vulnerable enough and open enough to know their own need for healing and transformation, and their own desire for love.

The two men who follow Jesus on the road to his home do not know what will become of this moment, but they believe that this is the man they must follow, this is what they must do in order to find hope once again. They have reached a point of total openness and vulnerability. And when they finally catch up with Jesus, they simply cry out for mercy. Love is able to do something healing with such openness.

Jesus also knew that so many people grow calloused and cynical as we live. We toss shrouds over the light of faith and love that can well up from our hearts and in the world around us. We have our well-guarded answers for "the way things are" and they often prevent us from seeing the possibilities of what could become of us, our neighbor, and our world. 

Perhaps this is why Jesus asks the two men to keep their experience to themselves for the time being. Others will not understand; they will either call it a hoax or some rare, super-natural miracle. Either way, they will continue to miss the transforming power that might well up in their own being.