I'll make another beginning here. I note that the last entry was nearly three years ago. No need to try and explain the hiatus; perhaps it was needed, perhaps it was neglect.
Now is a good time for beginnings and restarts; because they are intertwined with endings and so much loss. This pandemic season has been a time of unmooring, a disconnecting from familiar patterns and practices. Most of this has been by necessity, but some has been by intention.
Time passes differently now. Many things that anchored me to the passage of hours, days, weeks and months are now released. Relationships, too, are subject to the unsettled currents and the open-ended absences we endure.
What is ground?
Where is center?
Who remains?
With so much voluntarily released or involuntarily removed, what holds?
This is the via negativa. We are now given the opportunity to learn by unlearning, know by unknowing, and begin by ending. First, though, we must be willing to know our need for such loss and letting go.
I've been wondering about what it means to grieve right now. The need for grief now is visceral. Private grieving of the most personal losses, yes, but so much more: the collective grieving of great communal and even global losses. How do we grieve as a community? How do we grieve as a whole people? How do we grieve with life beyond our human experience? With a planetary whole? Is this possible? Are we willing? Who are our guides?
So, I return here to wonder and remain
curious and brokenhearted,
courageous and fearful,
still and moving,
alone and with countless others,
with love.
image: personal rune, Ⓒ2019
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