Unless . . .
Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies,
it remains just a single grain; but if it dies
it bears much fruit. - John 12:24
Here in southern Kansas, there are abundant signs of what happens when a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies. There is a great greening of the winter wheat this time of year. Soon it will grow and wave in the South Wind, and sooner than seems possible it will be time for an early summer harvest.
Jesus' parable makes me think, too, of other natural cycles of what might be called "dying to live." I think of the nurse logs in the coastal forests of the Northwest. When a great Douglas Fir or Sitka Spruce tree dies, it falls to the ground and soon becomes alive again as it is filled with the life of all manner of creatures, fungi and molds. These fallen trees also become the perfect spot for Hemlock seeds to germinate and grow, wrapping the dead log with their roots as they send them down through its tissues and into the ground.
photo by Yolanda KauffmanIsn't this also the cycle of our relationships of love? Such relationships are so much more than an equation of simple addition: my story + your story = friendship. No, a loving friendship, spousal relationship, or familial relationship requires far more than this, and part of what it requires of us is a certain amount of emptying and letting go - a subtraction of sorts - to make room for the presence of the other and for the Presence that moves when "two or more are gathered."
Love so often requires that we die before we die, so that we can more fully live.
I loved this post, but in this last sentence, "...die before we die..." -- must we die twice over?
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful question. I heard someone once use the term "little deaths" to describe those many kinds of dying moments that happen on the path of life and love. Like, when we let go of some expectations that we may be placing on a loved one. Or, the voids we live into when a beloved one dies. Or, those passages we make in life when we allow some part of our false self, some self-seeking behavior, to fall away so that we can live with greater freedom. I think of these as the ways we "die before we die."
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